A picture's worth a thousand words. Especially when those words are written by Tama Janowitz and the pictures are by Merchant Ivory.  If you ask us, SLAVES OF NEW YORK (1989) is the kind of movie that's best projected (silently) onto a wall at a gay club night.

Since our own words could barely do justice to the film's hair and hats and hunks, here are a few select screenshots to whet your appetite for our forthcoming Episode 037.

It's not Cousin It, but the progenitor of all this mishegas: Tama Janowitz herself, offering some whacked-out wisdom to her alter ego Eleanor (played by Bernadette Peters).

First appearance of the cartoon motif. Bernadette crouches for a closer look!

Where has Adam Coleman Howard been hiding all our lives? I'll take narcissistic art-twinks for $1,000, Alex.

And what about the young Stanley Tucci? Guess he never heard about gun control. Hubba hubba.

The flesh just keeps on coming: Stash's armpits paired with Marley Martello going commando.

Even Steve Buscemi looks kinda cute in this movie!!!!

Bernadette auditioning for WORKING GIRL. Shoulder pads, blouse, broach. But the orange eye-shadow kills it.

Every girl deserves the luxury of chinoiserie at bedtime....

...complemented by Russian fur for daytime.

Stanley and Mercedes Ruehl are shocked to learn that they're supposed to have characters in this movie.

Bernadette looks nearly as bewildered as we were watching this. Can someone find her a plot thread? (How about that Woodrow Wilson dummy in the back??)